Archive for Indian marriages

The Eligible Prospective Wants ………

Posted in Social with tags on March 24, 2013 by swatiaiyer

A young lady on a women’s site recently put up a letter they got from an eligible prospective asking the question “Would you marry this guy”?  Here is the letter:

“I want a life partner who is from a well educated, dignified, cultured, traditional and well settled family with a good background , living having own house and possess good moral values. I am looking for a girl who is Jovial, Friendly, Humorous, Generous, Confident, Honest, Humble, Loyal, Straight-forward, Stylish, Charming, Respects Elders and their Views, Loving, Understanding, Caring, Calm, Not Egoistic, Not Selfish, Not Kiddish, Not Dominating, Affectionate , Responsible, Lovable, Fair and beautiful ,broad-minded, trying her best to stay simple and who does not Nag and not to forget has cooking skills to prepare tasty delicacies and serve them daily to her partner.

I am liberal minded and not orthodox , however, i prefer the girl to follow and involve herself in religious customs and traditional practices of my family. I do not believe in fanactism and i expect the same from my partner.

My life partner should be intelligent and mature and should be able to handle all situations in life calmly and patiently. She should not be kiddish and short tempered. She should lead life in a planned and disciplined manner. She should ensure to keep herself Fit, Healthy and look Beautiful and Pretty at any time of the day, should be happy and smiling and ensure the same happiness and smile is there with her other partner and at the same time ensure to keep a positive frame of mind, instigate Confidence in herself and her partner in times of problems and be a Responsible individual knowing the practicalities of driving life and have or gain knowledge in financial planning, asset management and social security and status and have a calm and thoughtful approach in assessing and analyzing matters of any kind in any scenario and any situation and be precise and thoughtful before coming to any firm decision.
She should not have any loans of any kind payable to any financial institution towards her or her family members , relatives and friends.

She should be able to strike a balance between Personal Life and Work.
Girl must be willing to work in Govt/PSU. All form of support will be provided by me to her. I am more inclined and interested that my partner work in Govt/PSU job.”

The letter left me dazed.  The first thought that crossed my mind was “Is this guy serious?  Is he trying to find a girl or is he trying to make sure she gets so put off that she rejects him?”  The next thought was maybe he ought to be looking for a robot.  The responses from other members were pretty amusing.  Someone wondered how many women he would need to marry to find a wife with all these qualities.

The very first premise was very peculiar.  Why is he so concerned whether her family “owns” their home or lives in a rented one?  Does he plan to move in with them?  If so, why does he want her to adapt to his family’s religious practices?  And then he claims he is not fanatical about his religious practices nor should she be that way.  What if his parents insist on her following orthodox traditions?  He wants her to “respect” elder’s opinions.  He seems to contradict himself at every step.  The girl should be working in a government office or a PSU – the reasons are pretty obvious.  Then he says he will support her.  If she is all that he expects her to be, and does everything he expects her to do, why does she need his support in the first place?  And conversely, if he can support her, then why does he have so many demands of his wife?????  I would start to doubt the sanity of the man in the very first place.  I mean, I wonder if this is quite representative of the kind of demands of a typical young Indian male of today.  I doubt it, but still, I wonder.  If it is, God help the young women of today.

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