A Slap In The Face Of A Woman – Did She Ask For It?

We keep hearing so much about physical violence on women in and outside the house. Domestic violence is seen as a “family matter” and not many would want to step in to stop it – not even the police. Worse still we have a lot of moral police who generally feel the women “ask” for it by not being “obedient”, docile and toeing the line. The man is justified if she pushes him over the edge to lose his temper and lash out physically at her. This is the latest episode in Bangalore – one slap (and the first time, if the husband is to be believed) and the wife is dead. Both the man and the woman were “highly educated”.

Most of the comments are judgmental about the lady. In true Indian style they conclude that she wanted to distance the husband from the family and probably “asked” for this. Nobody knows what the equations between the woman and her ILs were. Nobody knows what she had to put up with. Nobody knows why she did not want the sil to come. She probably “asked” for it. The sympathies lie with the husband.

The first thing my husband, a doctor, commented was that they need to do the autopsy to find out the cause for the death – thereby implying that a mere slap might not have been the cause, there might have been some other problem which may have been aggravated by the slap. That being as it may, the question is who gave him the right in the first place to slap her? If there had any other known problem, I am sure the man would have been the first one to shout out from the rooftops and say that she already had some problem – after all there is a lot at stake as far as he is concerned. He has not done that. He has admitted that he slapped her and she fell unconscious and died. One can only imagine how hard that slap must have been.

This man was educated abroad. He has had exposure to various cultures. One would have expected him to be civilized. He had a good job in a multinational company. He had a four old son. He has deprived his own son of his mother. The child will not have his father either, since he will most likely (and hopefully) be in jail. He will most likely lose his job and find it very difficult to ever find another one which is as good. He will now have a criminal record. Was all this worth that moment of anger? Can anything bring all this back? He will have enough time now to cool his heels and head behind bars and reflect over all these points now. Having said all of which, I cannot deny, one does feel bad that a young man who had everything going for him should have come to this. No one can be happy in another’s misery.

Nothing but the severest punishment would suffice in this case if we are serious about putting an end to violence by any human being against another. It all ultimately depends on how serious our law enforcers are about it.

The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

Do you think this was his first slap? Do slaps happen without verbal and emotional abuse? Would you say a non abusive man who sees his wife as an equal partner, no matter how stressed or how angry, no matter how close to his own family, and how ‘provocative’ the wife, would slap his wife?

What are the chances that he is lying even about the cause of the fight, knowing an indication of a man’s love for his biological family could make him look like a good Indian Budhape ka Sahara? Many Indians would agree that a Shravan Kumar might use well intended abuse to control a Paraya Dhan who is trying to make him a Joru ka Gulaam?

Dharmesh told police that he was watching TV with Mahalakshmi when around 10.30pm, he got a call from his sister who told him about her plan to visit them on…

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